August 10,2010
The day we get to meet our son,is creeping up on us fast. I have my calendar out each day and "X" out the date as it ends..knowing we are one day closer,to one of them biggest days of our lives. I think it's going to be a bitter sweet moment..we want him here,safely and healthy,but we'd prefer it be a later date. We know he is in the best place,he can be and will receive the best care imaginable! We have faith in God and the doctors. John and I have decided on a date,and that being 8-24-10,if the doctors agree and they can book the operating room that day,then were set and it will be Derek's,official birthday!
Derek,will still be 2 months early,and I was told he will more than likely be here until his actual due date or close too,that being October 17th,2010. Then again,no one knows for sure and he could come home a lot sooner,perhaps later..all depends on how well he does,with meeting his goals! I know 3 of the goals are the following: Keep own body temp,eating without tubes,and breathing with out oxygen..anything beyond that I don't know. We had decided to pump my breast milk to feed him through the tubes,so he can get the most nutrients he can possibly receive...there is antibodies and such in my milk,that can prevent infections,etc. So I hope Im able to pump and eventually nurse him as he becomes strong enough to nurse. I set here typing this,thinking OMG-he will be here really soon,holy crap! I know I've been here for 3 weeks,but gesh,I never expected him so early..WOW! We haven't even started to purchase diapers or wipes yet,nor do we have a crib.I have a bassinet and a pack and play for the time being,but we will eventually need to purchase a crib,luckily no time soon. We have friends who are more than willing to help us out with getting things we need,thank God for good friends,especially at times like this.
John's,getting all the clothes I sorted through(2 weeks prior to coming in here) and taking them to his mom's house to have her wash them,so they are ready and it's one less thing I have to worry about! John,and I will set the rooms up with the baby's things when I get home after having the baby. Though I wont be able to do much if anything,I will be there to get the ball rolling and things done right! I also have to get to the store to stock up on things such as food,diapers,wipes and some other odds and ends. We are planning on having the living room and our bed room painted before we bring Derek home,so we don't have to rearrange things at a later date. Wow,I just had a flash of Christmas..it's going to be a special one this year for sure.
Jessica,has agreed to take day off of work,to come in the day I have Derek,she will be taking pics,for us. She's awesome,the bestest friend anyone could have.I know she'll capture many special moments..one's we'll treasure always.I needed someone to come in and take pic's,because my camera broke months back and we hadn't planned on purchasing one until Sept,but now with the unexpected madness,things are on a hold for the camera. I was borrowing my aunts,but she took it back to use,while they went camping. Jess,is a photo-fanatic,just like me so I know she'll do a great job,and take many! We decided not to tell anyone when my c-section date is,so that there aren't 50 people here. There's no point having anyone here,since he will be rushed to the NICU and even we wont see him for a few hours,while they get him situated and things with me finished.John and I really just want a peaceful moment between just the two of us,we went to let things register emotionally,with us before we have a rush of people with a million questions in our face. We know they mean well,but we've/I've been through a lot in the past few weeks. It's our right and if no one likes it,tough shit,kiss my ass. This insert kind of took a right turn,and went off track a bit,but I had a million things running through my head,and just typed it all out here. Possibly 13 more days,from today..it's getting closer!!!!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Bio Physical-Let me Out-NOW!
August 9th,2010
Today is a day of many answers,at least we hope.
They are going to measure the baby and see if he is growing and doing well.
Im excited to see what's going on,however I'm a bit nervous,that there could be something wrong,so I'm keeping my fingers crossed and saying a prayer.
Well the ultrasound was done early in the morning and I was told the following:
He is a bit smaller than where he should be,but no big worries.
Since this is the 3rd time in a row,without having measurable fluids that I would be having him at 32 weeks,not 34.
I could pick a date to have my C-section,and talk it over with MFM and have them set the date with the operating room. ( I can't wait to see If our date picked will work)
He has a great heartbeat,and is a strong little boy,that is still butt down..little brat.
Seen the baby turn toward the monitor and open and close his mouth as if he were talking..saying,"Let Me Outta Here,NOW"!!! It was too cute.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Tricks are for Kids..
July 29th 2010
The doctor's informed me today that,they won't let me stay pregnant past 34 weeks,due to the higher chance of infection. During my ultrasound I was told you decided to go and do a trick for everyone,and flip over and go breech. Are you serious,gesh kid your giving us the run for our money already and your not even here.Such a trouble maker! If the baby doesn't flip back over,which is very unlikely because of the fluid levels,or there lack of. So as of right now it's looking like a c-section,something I was trying to avoid. I enjoyed my labor and delivery with JR and was really looking forward to doing it again..insane? Maybe. So every night I have a talk with Derek,and tell him he will be grounded forever if he doesn't flip back over,but I guess threats don't work with him.So I've turned to begging..Please Please Baby Derek,turn back around for mama. Finger's crossed hoping he will flip back and stop with his tricks...guess it's true,'Tricks are for Kids"!
Sucks Big Putty Balls...
July 23rd 2010
It's been a few uneventful days,no real big changes.The baby has been looking good on ultrasound and the NST. He is still in there being very active,throughout the day-it's great to be able to enjoy all his movements and kicks. I'm blessed in so many ways. My/our little boy is being so strong,I can tell he'll be a real fighter! My sugars have been out of whack,but now I think we have them under control,as well as my BP,which has been looking great. With these two things under control,it makes things easier..thats two less things I have to stress over.So basically we just sit and let things take it's course.There's nothing really they can do,I'm doing and more importantly the baby is doing great,so theres no reason for induction..this makes me happy,though being here 24/7 Sucks Big Putty Balls!
My main concern right now is keeping calm,with little stress as possible. I'm sure at some point I will have my breakdown,where I cry and just become a straight up bitch,just a matter of time I suppose. I feel kinda bad for not breaking down in tears yet. I know everyone handles things differently,perhaps my hormones play a big role??
It's been a few uneventful days,no real big changes.The baby has been looking good on ultrasound and the NST. He is still in there being very active,throughout the day-it's great to be able to enjoy all his movements and kicks. I'm blessed in so many ways. My/our little boy is being so strong,I can tell he'll be a real fighter! My sugars have been out of whack,but now I think we have them under control,as well as my BP,which has been looking great. With these two things under control,it makes things easier..thats two less things I have to stress over.So basically we just sit and let things take it's course.There's nothing really they can do,I'm doing and more importantly the baby is doing great,so theres no reason for induction..this makes me happy,though being here 24/7 Sucks Big Putty Balls!
My main concern right now is keeping calm,with little stress as possible. I'm sure at some point I will have my breakdown,where I cry and just become a straight up bitch,just a matter of time I suppose. I feel kinda bad for not breaking down in tears yet. I know everyone handles things differently,perhaps my hormones play a big role??
27 Weeks
July 18th 2010
Today I am 27 weeks~Yay! I finished my two rounds of IV steroids,to help mature the baby's lungs.The IV antibiotics are also done,but now I will have to take a pill form for a few days,then just keep a eye on everything. Twice a week I'll have a ultrasound and a NST done daily(non stress test,which tracks the heart beat of the baby and my 'contractions') I believe and have trust in all these doctors. I feel good about being here,there's so much that could possibly go wrong and I know I'm in the right place. I believe God has us & wont lead us into nothing we can't handle. I just need to keep positive and think about all the good things that may be and can be.
(Last picture taken,before my water broke and my belly'deflated' this was one week prior,so 25 weeks.)
I have to do whatever I need to,for this unborn baby,my son,our son,JR's baby brother. We've tried to hard to get to this point,it's taken us 5+years to conceive this baby and Im not willing to give up on him. All the pain I endure is worth the baby being born healthy and able to grow up..I would do it for both my kids-they are my life,I'd take a bullet for them in a heartbeat! John,I love him,so much he is my world & w/o him I don't know what I'd do. Without one another I don't think either of us could live on. We've become much closer during this pregnancy-it's truly great. We do love each other more than ever-and it continues to grow stronger as everyday passes. We've had to really do some 'growing' up..the last few days have been very emotional and life changing.
We all just want the baby to be okay. I'm thinking positive and will try to continue to stay that way until I'm given a reason not too.
Today I am 27 weeks~Yay! I finished my two rounds of IV steroids,to help mature the baby's lungs.The IV antibiotics are also done,but now I will have to take a pill form for a few days,then just keep a eye on everything. Twice a week I'll have a ultrasound and a NST done daily(non stress test,which tracks the heart beat of the baby and my 'contractions') I believe and have trust in all these doctors. I feel good about being here,there's so much that could possibly go wrong and I know I'm in the right place. I believe God has us & wont lead us into nothing we can't handle. I just need to keep positive and think about all the good things that may be and can be.
I have to do whatever I need to,for this unborn baby,my son,our son,JR's baby brother. We've tried to hard to get to this point,it's taken us 5+years to conceive this baby and Im not willing to give up on him. All the pain I endure is worth the baby being born healthy and able to grow up..I would do it for both my kids-they are my life,I'd take a bullet for them in a heartbeat! John,I love him,so much he is my world & w/o him I don't know what I'd do. Without one another I don't think either of us could live on. We've become much closer during this pregnancy-it's truly great. We do love each other more than ever-and it continues to grow stronger as everyday passes. We've had to really do some 'growing' up..the last few days have been very emotional and life changing.
We all just want the baby to be okay. I'm thinking positive and will try to continue to stay that way until I'm given a reason not too.
We suggest a Amniocentesis....Gulp!
July 17th,2010
Gulp...you want me to have a what? Ive been denying this test from the get go,when the doc's suggested we be tested for the genetic disorders. This time was totally different,and the reasons behind it where much more than before..Bam talk about getting hit with a ton of bricks! John and I talked things over with Dr.Spears about preforming the Amnio,all the pro's & con's. He spoke with us for a hour,and we really felt comfortable with him and trusted every word. We almost decided against it,because of the chances of so many things. Dr.Spears even said,If we even have a slight thought of not wanting to do it,then he suggested we not have it done. John and I asked for a little time to talk things out alone. It was a very hard choice to make,but when Dr.Spears told us that if there was a infection in my uterus,and we didn't test,then not only would the baby be sick,but I could get a infection in my blood,which if that would happen,I would die..there wasn't nothing they could do for me at that point. So with that said John and I decided to go ahead and have the test done. I couldn't bare to lose our baby,but I couldn't dare lay there thinking about how the death of me would affect those I loved,especially JR and John. I couldn't dare put my son through that..he loves his mama way too much and I love him more than words could ever express..
The test itself wasn't so bad,the needle was long,about 8 inches I guess,but it was thin,actually thinner than a IV needle. I thought it would be really painful,having to go through my stomach and the uterus..but honestly I barely felt it..only when he was tapping it through the walls of my uterus. He said I may have some cramping or spotting,but I lucked out and had no after affects! What a sigh of relief,it was over in matter of minutes. Dr.Spears,was wonderful and talked us through every second of the procedure. My aunt sat in the hall with JR and kept him occupied...after wards we went back to my room and waited for the results which came back rather quickly. The first set of test came back negative for any infection,of my uterus,which meant I was fine and most importantly the baby was fine and was able to stay in there longer. They did a second test and those results would be available,for another 5-7 days. This test would tell us if I had a bacteria infection,that comes from a pregnant woman's vagina area..all woman have bacteria,however for a pregnant woman,it can be a lot more.Three days later they updated me,and there was no growth on the petri dish,thats great news,but it could still grow over the next few days...finally the wait was over,that test too was a negative,,YAY!
So it looks like a sit and wait game from this point in,unless something takes a turn for the worse,which I'm praying it doesn't.
Gulp...you want me to have a what? Ive been denying this test from the get go,when the doc's suggested we be tested for the genetic disorders. This time was totally different,and the reasons behind it where much more than before..Bam talk about getting hit with a ton of bricks! John and I talked things over with Dr.Spears about preforming the Amnio,all the pro's & con's. He spoke with us for a hour,and we really felt comfortable with him and trusted every word. We almost decided against it,because of the chances of so many things. Dr.Spears even said,If we even have a slight thought of not wanting to do it,then he suggested we not have it done. John and I asked for a little time to talk things out alone. It was a very hard choice to make,but when Dr.Spears told us that if there was a infection in my uterus,and we didn't test,then not only would the baby be sick,but I could get a infection in my blood,which if that would happen,I would die..there wasn't nothing they could do for me at that point. So with that said John and I decided to go ahead and have the test done. I couldn't bare to lose our baby,but I couldn't dare lay there thinking about how the death of me would affect those I loved,especially JR and John. I couldn't dare put my son through that..he loves his mama way too much and I love him more than words could ever express..
The test itself wasn't so bad,the needle was long,about 8 inches I guess,but it was thin,actually thinner than a IV needle. I thought it would be really painful,having to go through my stomach and the uterus..but honestly I barely felt it..only when he was tapping it through the walls of my uterus. He said I may have some cramping or spotting,but I lucked out and had no after affects! What a sigh of relief,it was over in matter of minutes. Dr.Spears,was wonderful and talked us through every second of the procedure. My aunt sat in the hall with JR and kept him occupied...after wards we went back to my room and waited for the results which came back rather quickly. The first set of test came back negative for any infection,of my uterus,which meant I was fine and most importantly the baby was fine and was able to stay in there longer. They did a second test and those results would be available,for another 5-7 days. This test would tell us if I had a bacteria infection,that comes from a pregnant woman's vagina area..all woman have bacteria,however for a pregnant woman,it can be a lot more.Three days later they updated me,and there was no growth on the petri dish,thats great news,but it could still grow over the next few days...finally the wait was over,that test too was a negative,,YAY!
So it looks like a sit and wait game from this point in,unless something takes a turn for the worse,which I'm praying it doesn't.
The Day Everything Changed..
July 16th,2010
5 pm watching cartoons with JR,when sitting on the recliner I feel myself 'peeing' myself. Went upstairs and peed and took a shower. Decided to lay down for a hour on the bed as JR played on the laptop beside me. Not even 10 minutes later,after laying down on my left side it happened again..what the heck?! After cleaning up for the second time I called the doctor on call and asked what I should do.It took a hour before I got a return call and he said,It's probably nothing and he wasn't worried about it,but he heard real concern in my voice..so he said If it would make me feel better that I could go to the hospital's ER and get examined.
So I called John and he came home,got myself and JR dressed and ready to go..we arrive at Woman Magee Hospital at 8 pm. I'm taken to a exam room,after sitting in ER for about 10 mins. I lay there in a gown waiting and waiting for the doc's to come in and start their exam and asking their hundred questions. They did two exam's and confirmed that my Water did break and I wasn't allowed to leave the hospital until the baby was born. My first thought was OMG-I have to deliver him now,then I thought OMG-I could be here until October,with my luck that is. It was 1 am and I had John and JR go home,since they were so very tired out and I wasn't even in a room yet and they couldn't do anything for me. They went home which was so hard to do..when would I be leaving to be home with them again,ugh frustrating to say the least. Finally at 3am I was moved to room 2739,where I was greeted with warm smiles and friendly hello's. I didn't sleep but a hour,by the time they were done setting me up and getting vitals and blood etc,it was already 6 or 7 am. It was a night to remember and one Im sure I'll never forget,anytime soon.
Signing Away my Privilege...
August 3rd,2010.
Today I made a final decision on whether to have more babies after this pregnancy or not. With a little hesitation,I decided to sign the papers,to have my tubes tied,if I have a c-section. Though it takes 30 days go in affect,they know I prefer it and IF I go for another 29 days then I'm good,if not then I come back after I'm healed from c-section and have a procedure done.I have two options,either tubal,through belly button or through the vagina,which they would place tiny coils,and it would make me sterile. This was/is such a hard thing to do..I'd love 100 more kids(well maybe not that many,lol)but the cost of my life is more important..and I will soon be the mother of two beautiful children,and I have to think of their future as well. I don't want to jeopardize their happiness in any way. If my health and our finances were better,then maybe..but who are we kidding,it's just not happening!
Im sure I/we made the right choice,and I'm sure there will be times I regret it..and who knows,maybe John will regret it in some ways. We have one another and the family we made together,so we will learn to be happy with all that God's Blessed us with and be just that...Blessed!
Today I made a final decision on whether to have more babies after this pregnancy or not. With a little hesitation,I decided to sign the papers,to have my tubes tied,if I have a c-section. Though it takes 30 days go in affect,they know I prefer it and IF I go for another 29 days then I'm good,if not then I come back after I'm healed from c-section and have a procedure done.I have two options,either tubal,through belly button or through the vagina,which they would place tiny coils,and it would make me sterile. This was/is such a hard thing to do..I'd love 100 more kids(well maybe not that many,lol)but the cost of my life is more important..and I will soon be the mother of two beautiful children,and I have to think of their future as well. I don't want to jeopardize their happiness in any way. If my health and our finances were better,then maybe..but who are we kidding,it's just not happening!
Im sure I/we made the right choice,and I'm sure there will be times I regret it..and who knows,maybe John will regret it in some ways. We have one another and the family we made together,so we will learn to be happy with all that God's Blessed us with and be just that...Blessed!
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